By Johnny Blondo May 10, 2019
So far the biggest disappointment in BBL this season is the offense of the Garveys outfield. We are halfway through season 5 and the only significant offense provided by positions 7 through 9 are 3 solo homeruns. The Garveys star-studded outfield, led by last year’s MVP Buxton, is batting a measly .116, with Buxton even lower than that at .111. “I know man” said Buxton after their recent 3-2 loss to their rival Need Chickens, “it’s the ball ya know, it just looks a lot smaller this year than it did last year”.
Correspondence with league officials confirmed that they are using a different provider for baseballs this season to reduce costs due to attendance drops for a few of the leagues usually big-draw teams (Jerk Fuzzballs and Dry Worms). While no one has actually compared this year’s baseballs to last years, Buxton is not the only one who notices a difference: “Yes, um, yes while I don’t want to blame our offensive struggles on the baseball, it’s ironic that the balls were switched during game 3 of this season, apparently each team was given a different box of baseballs to use during that game, the Jerks got a box from our new provider and we had to throw balls from a box provided by some Portuguese company. I don’t mean to draw any conclusions, but come on don’t they lead the world in cork exports?” said Garveys manager Steve Garvey.
To say the Garvey outfielders are struggling at the plate is a bit of an understatement. In fact, they strike out 1 out of every 3 at bats, with Khris Davis striking out during a whopping 50% of at bats so far this season. And they are only driving in a single run for every 10 at bats for a CRAB rating of 0.1. “The ball is definitely smaller this year”, said Davis who is leading all BBL outfielders with 12 strikeouts and batting only .042, “it’s like hitting a golf ball with a broomstick”, Davis added.
“We are definitely going to be making some changes in the outfield. We were in this position last year and made some changes and whammo we win the series. I know people are counting us out with the Dudes and Fuzzballs doing so well, but I’ve got my eyes set on a repeat” stated Garvey. When asked about the new baseballs, BBL league commissioners refused to comment citing that the issue has been brought up to them by an anonymous source (Buxton) and is currently under investigation.
Johnny Blondo has been a reporter for BatBreaker since 2018.