By Johnny Blondo May 17, 2019
In the 6th inning of last night’s nail-biter between the Garveys and Dry Worms, Garveys second baseman Neil Walker was hit in the helmet by a fastball that knocked off his helmet and left him motionless on the ground for several minutes. This led to some tense moments as benches cleared with coaches and players trading insults and pushes before being reminded by the umps that Walker needed to be tended to. While there were no ejections, the Dry Worms were issued a warning as the plunking seemed intentional. “Yah I think Scherz meant to nail him, I mean, you could tell Walk was going to homer by the way he strutted up to the plate” said Garveys shortstop Marwin Gonzalez, “He’s had a hot bat and he shimmied up to the plate twirling the bat and whistling, he usually only does that right before he knocks one out” added Gonzalez.
Walker has been placed on the Hurt Roster with a concussion and will likely miss the remainder of the season. Brandon Crawford, who is challenging Khris Davis for poorest offensive player on the Garveys was brought in as Walker’s replacement after Walker was carried off the field on a stretcher. “Poor guy” said Crawford watching as the medics shined a light into Walker’s eyes, “Poor, poor little guy…you know I’m talking about me, right?” continued Crawford.
When asked about the incident after the game Dry Worms pitcher Max Scherzer glared menacingly at the assembled journalists and mumbled something under his breath while declining to comment.
Moments after the game the Garveys traded outfielder Khris Davis (batting .036 with 14 strikeouts and 1 hit after 7 games) to the Jerk Fuzzballs for the reliable and speedy outfielder Lorenzo Cain. The Garveys also called up top infield prospect and fan favorite Whit Merrifield to take Walker’s place on the roster so the Garveys won’t have to put Crawford in the every day lineup. “We really dodged a bullet there, I’m glad we had a second baseman in the pipeline so we wouldn’t have to see Brandon bat every game” said Garveys manager Steve Garvey. “He’s a nice enough guy, but did you see Crawford on the basepath last year? Me neither.” said Garvey.
While the league considers repercussions for Scherzer’s heinous act, the Garveys will have both Merrifield and Cain in uniform for their next game.
Johnny Blondo has been a reporter for BatBreaker since 2018.