By Johnny Blondo June 7, 2019
Need Chickens Manager Ted Smith walked out of the clubhouse for the last time this morning mumbling to himself after a fiery closed-door meeting with the team. Sources indicate Smith has been distancing himself from the team since early in the season due to their lackluster offense and on-field demeanor. “Yeah man, he (Smith) has really been down on the team and really has been griping about the whole league this year” said former MVP shortstop Elvis Andrus after the meeting “he would get really angry during games when we weren’t hittin’ the ball you know and um kinda started to throw gum and cups and things at us in the dugout” Andrus continued.
Adding to the Chickens’ misery this year was the recent loss of outfielder Aaron Judge who was the leading MVP candidate this season until being nicked by a pitch from soft-spoken righty Alex Meyer. Judge recently spoke to us about his injury: “I’m having a really great season, I mean I’m going to be MVP and that’s why they are throwing at me. When Alan (sic) threw that inside pitch, it must’ve been coming in at like 85 or 90 and when it hit me, you know, when it brushed my jersey, I thought ‘man that almost hit me!’ you know?? That’s when I knew I didn’t want to jeopardize my MVP season. Players just don’t hit like me ya know!” laughed Judge. In a post-game interview Pitcher Alex Meyer quietly commented “they were all over my fastball, Canha had just bombed one so I was sticking to my change-up for the rest of the inning. It was really kind of an eephus and I think it scared him (Judge). I was trying to get out of the inning with no more runs, I certainly did not want another baserunner”.
It was the bottom of the first inning when Aaron Judge came to the plate with one out and nobody on. That’s when things got weird. Former Cy Young winner Meyer threw what looked to be a brushback change-up causing Judge to twirl out of the way and hit the ground. With Aaron Judge writhing face down in the dirt, and catcher Tony Wolters and home plate umpire Doug North trying to calm him and figure out why he was on the ground, Smith calmly walked out of the dugout and over to first base. With a bit of effort, he pulled up the base and walked over and tucked it neatly under a surprised Judge. With the crowd yelling wildly, Smith then proceeded back to the dugout without a word.
“It was a surprise” said Judge of the incident “because I always thought you had to get to first base all by yourself, so it was nice of coach to bring it to me after he knew I’d had such a scare, it shows he really cares about me and the great season I am having.” The only comment we were able to obtain from Smith before he stormed off was “This offense is totally lame, the worst offense I’ve ever seen. And without that idiot Judge in the lineup I can’t imagine how much worse it could get”.
Judge was immediately pulled from the game and placed on the restricted list for the remainder of the season. He will be available for the post-season roster should the Need Chickens make the playoffs.
Johnny Blondo has been a reporter for BatBreaker since 2018.